


I See London, I See France...

by wannaliveindeansdimples



Series: Ana's AU's [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Drag Queens, Falling In Love, Flirty!Dean, Fluff and Humor, Gratuitous Smut, Humor, M/M, Oral Sex, Sam gets mistaken for gay, Self-Esteem Issues, basically just read it because i suck at tagging, bored accountant!cas, dean basically thinks he's just a pretty face, explicitly stated underpants, lithromantic!gabriel, there's a drag show, underwear model!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 12:47:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3896902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannaliveindeansdimples/pseuds/wannaliveindeansdimples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is a bored accountant, until a racy billboard turns him into a sexually frustrated accountant. His friend Jessica wants to hook him up with a guy she met in a drag club, and Castiel, desperate, accepts. All of them soon find that nothing is what it seems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I See London, I See France...

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the prompt "You’re an underwear model and there’s a giant billboard of your toned body just across from where I work so I have to look at you every day AU" from [this post](http://one-toomany.tumblr.com/post/108396487179/we-met-in-vegas-one-night-and-woke-up-next-morning), as tagged for me by you-know-who.
> 
> This was so much fun to write. ~~Other possible titles that I considered "Across the Street, Down at the Bar" and "Model Relationship"~~

Ordinarily, Castiel didn’t mind going to work.

He had a good office with a nice view. He was liked by his coworkers and liked most of them in return. He was good at what he did and management rewarded him accordingly. He led a good life and his career was a large part of that.

Unfortunately, all of that changed when Calvin Klein decided to buy space on the billboard directly across the street from his office window. Perhaps not all of it. Just the part where he didn’t mind—even enjoyed—going to work. The advent of that one billboard took that away from him. It was as if the universe was out to torture him.

The advertisement wasn’t particularly risque, if Castiel was honest. It was just a man standing in perfectly demure boxer briefs. They had even shot the photograph so as not to emphasize any bulge that might or might not exist in said boxer briefs.

The advertisement was not the problem. The well-cut and well-fit dark gray boxers were not the problem.

The problem lay with the green-eyed tempter who had clearly risen straight out of hell to ruin Castiel’s life. Those intense, multi-shaded jade eyes stared directly into Castiel’s office window. Worse, they stared directly into his soul. Those lips, which looked the same size as Castiel himself, taunted him with their ripe pink perfection. Shoulders the width of his whole office mocked Castiel from the distance of one city street.

Every part of the infernal model was absolute perfection and Castiel couldn’t take the feelings that smoldering look was giving him. Castiel had even started to dream about the man. It simply could not continue. He was going to petition the city or something. Get the accursed thing taken down. He couldn’t concentrate on anything, so great was his sexual frustration after two weeks of having an Adonis of an underwear model stare into his eyes from thirty feet up.

“Hey, Cas!” his coworker and some time friend Jessica called brightly one afternoon during week three of what Castiel was dubbing the Apoca-lips.

It startled Castiel slightly, as he’d been staring, fixated, at the billboard, wishing for whatever deity had cursed him to free him from this burden.

“Hello, Jessica. Is there something I can do for you?” he asked, hoping for distraction from his plight.

“Well, I hope so,” she said, dropping her voice slightly and looking out the door to make sure they were not overheard. “I don’t know what your dating situation is, but, well, I have this friend. I think, if you’re not seeing anybody, that you might really like him.”

Castiel, who ordinarily would have refused outright and been offended on top of it—he could get his own dates, if he wanted them, thank you very much, indeed, _Jessica_ —jumped at the chance. Surely a one night stand was just what the doctor ordered to rid him of his unhealthy obsession with the underwear model? Once he had resolved his sexual dry spell, no doubt the spell the model seemed to have over him would disappear. At least that was his fervent wish.

“I’d love to meet him,” he found himself saying.

Shock registered across Jessica’s face, quickly replaced by sheer delight and excitement. “Yes! All right, great! I was so scared you would say no. Um, I’ll give you his number then, so you can call him and set up a date.”

Castiel frowned as he realized she didn’t intend to be with them when they met, acting as a buffer. Then he shrugged it off. “Yes, that will be fine. I look forward to meeting him.”

As she entered the number into his phone, Castiel spared one more glance out the window. He would go out to dinner with Jessica’s friend, and hopefully take care of his sexual frustration. Either way, he would get over this ridiculous obsession. He couldn’t go on like this, he thought, even as he stared longingly at lips large enough for him to lie down on.

“There!” Jessica said, voice bright and smile wide. “His name is Sam. I met him the other night at Vega. You know, that drag club?”

“I’ve never been to a drag club,” Castiel said, mentally rolling his eyes at her stereotypical assumption. Outwardly, he gave her a flat expression that had her smile faltering.

“Oh, okay, um,” she said, then laughed and regained her footing. “Yeah, you aren’t really the club type, are you? Well, anyway, we met and got to talking and I think you two have a lot in common. I asked if he was seeing anybody and he said no, so I got his phone number.”

“Well, I will give him a call and we’ll see what happens, I suppose. Thank you for thinking of me,” he said as an afterthought, giving her a small smile.

When she left a minute later, he glared out the window at the cause of his discontent. He pointed at the billboard’s green-eyed devil and said, “I will forget all about you very soon.”

~~@~~

Castiel wasn’t certain of the protocol for these things, as he’d never been given someone’s phone number by a third party before, but he assumed waiting until after working hours was the done thing. He waited until he’d gotten home and had a shower—and double malt scotch—before he picked up his phone and dared calling Sam. It was already ringing before he thought to worry whether the man might be eating dinner.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Sam?”

“Yeah, who’s this?” asked a slightly wary but still friendly voice on the other end of the line.

“My name is Castiel. You met my friend Jessica the other night at Vega?”

“Um, yeah?” The confusion was thick in Sam’s voice, causing Castiel’s confidence to waver.

“Well, she gave me your number because she thought we might be compatible, so I was calling to see if you wanted to have dinner.”

“Oh, shit,” Sam said unhappily. Before Castiel could question it, Sam said, “I owe my brother twenty bucks.”

“I’m sorry?” It was apparently a day for confusion because Castiel was now full of it.

“No, _I’m_ sorry, um—Castiel, you said?”

“Castiel, yes.”

“Look, I’m sure you’re a really nice guy, but I’m not gay. Um, I kinda thought _Jessica_ was asking me out.”

All expression dropped off Castiel’s face. “You thought a woman was picking you up at a gay bar,” he said with no querical inflection. He hoped his tone conveyed how ridiculous he found that notion.

“It’s not a—fuck, you sound just like my brother. It’s a _drag_ club. Straight people go there too,” Sam said defensively.

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been to one. I suppose some straight people might find it entertaining,” Castiel conceded.

“See? Not all gay men like drag and not all straight guys don’t.” Sam cleared his throat. “I mean, I’ve got a friend in the show, so I’m probably more invested than most straight guys, but yeah.”

“I see. Well, I’m sorry that I’ve bothered you, Sam,” Castiel said, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice. He would have to find another way to get the devil with the perfect eyes and the perfect mouth out of his system. As a gesture of goodwill, he said, “It happens that Jessica is single, so I can suggest that she call you, if you like.”

“Yeah, sure, if you don’t mind,” Sam said, then paused. “Actually, um, we’re all going back to Vega tonight. You could both come and hang out? I mean, it sounds like maybe it’s not your thing, but there’s some really good guys there who might be a little more your type.”

“I appreciate the offer, and I will extend it to Jessica, but I don’t think I will attend, thank you just the same,” Castiel said, preparing to hang up.

“You should give it a try! If Jessica thought you and I would hit it off, I can think of at least three guys you might like.”

“You don’t need to feel guilty about not being gay. My love life is hardly your problem, Sam.”

Sam laughed nervously. “To tell you the truth, I’m really just trying to get more people in the seats for my friend’s show. I mean, helping you is a bonus, but if he doesn’t sell a minimum number of tickets, his boss is going to give someone else his spot.” There was a pause while Castiel digested this information. “It’s a really good show,” Sam said.

Castiel debated it with himself. It wasn’t as though he had other plans. He doubted Jessica did either. “I’ll call her and see what she says. If she wants to go, I will come with her.”

“Yeah? Awesome, man, thanks so much! Tell you what, I’ll buy you both dinner.”

“You don’t have to do that—”

“Hey, if you get Jessica to come, you’re saving me twenty bucks, anyway, so don’t sweat it.”

Castiel laughed at that. “All right. Perhaps I will see you soon, then. What time does the show start?”

“Oh, um, in about an hour? You don’t have to be there for the opening, though. Just sometime in the first half hour is fine.”

They exchanged goodbyes and then Castiel called Jessica.

~~@~~

Just over an hour later, Castiel found himself sitting next to a very tall man with an easy smile, and drinking a pint of beer as he waited for his meal to arrive. The last show had ended late and the next one had been delayed slightly by technical malfunctions, so they were sitting without the expected distraction. Castiel found the silence was not as awkward as he’d feared, but he still felt the need to fill it eventually.

“I’m sorry that Jessica couldn’t make it, Sam,” he said, hoisting his glass to his lips. “I did tell a few casual acquaintances about the show, so hopefully your friend will fill enough seats.”

“It’s cool. At least we’ve got a date on Friday,” Sam said with another flash of teeth. “And I’m glad you decided to show, anyway, man! Who knows, maybe you’ll find someone you like, right?”

“Perhaps,” he said, taking another long swallow of beer.

Castiel couldn’t say exactly what had prompted him to come to the club in spite of Jessica’s inability to get out of her pre-existing plans. For her part, she’d been embarrassed about her error, but thrilled at learning Sam was a heterosexual. Castiel had ultimately decided he’d be better off outside of the house. He might not find anyone of interest in the club, but he wouldn’t know until he looked—and it would be a good distraction from thoughts of the green-eyed man who haunted his waking hours as much as his dreams.

Just after their food arrived, Sam’s phone rang. “Hey, Dean! You almost here?” Sam frowned against the phone as Castiel took a bite of his pasta. “Aw, come on, man. You know that G—no, I get it,” he said with a sigh, tossing his fork down. “Yeah, all right.” As he listened he perked up slightly. “Yep. We’ve got a date on Friday, actually.”

They discussed Sam’s date with Jessica briefly and then hung up when the announcements for the show began. Castiel waited for an explanation, though it certainly wasn’t his business. Sam only looked unhappy and continued to eat.

“Everything all right?” Castiel finally asked.

“Yeah,” Sam said. Then he sighed. “My brother says he can’t make it. I mean, he can’t make, I’m sure. It’s not that I think he’s lying—sorry, I’m rambling,” Sam said, a ghost of a smile returning.

“Forgive me if I am speaking out of turn, but you seem more worried than disappointed.”

This smile was a little stronger, but his expression quickly grew more concerned. “Yeah. Okay, he was in this thing recently and he’s starting to get recognized for it. He doesn’t really _want_ the attention, so it’s kinda screwing with his head.”

“And that’s why he isn’t coming tonight?” Castiel guessed.

“Basically, yeah, but....” Sam ran a hand back through his jaw-length hair. “The guy who got him into this is his ex, Benny. And I don’t really trust the guy, you know? Not just because of their breakup but also because he got my brother into this without really being upfront about all the details and how... public the whole thing was gonna be.” He finished his beer. “And that’s who Dean’s with right now, so, yeah. I guess I’m worried.”

“He misled your brother and yet your brother is still choosing to spend time with him?” Castiel asked, not sure he was doing a good job of keeping the judgment out of his voice.

Sam grimaced. “Oh, well, Benny _says_ it was all there in the contract and Dean gives him a pass because he just skimmed it, but this is a big enough thing that Benny should have told him. He knows how Dean feels about being in the spotlight and I think he deliberately didn’t tell him. Dean doesn’t believe that. He’s always had a blind spot when it comes to Benny.”

“You’re afraid Dean will get hurt again,” Castiel guessed.

“Yeah. Benny’s an okay guy, but he’s not into commitment. He really hurt Dean before. I don’t know. I think maybe he’s trying to get Dean back? But I don’t think he’s going to be any more committed this time around.” Sam shook his head and signaled the waiter for another beer, just as the music started. “Sorry, didn’t mean to dump all this on you.”

Castiel smiled. He liked Sam—though not like that—and could see why Jessica thought they’d get along. “It’s quite all right, Sam.”

Sam looked sheepish. “Actually,” he said, leaning close to be heard as the show music got louder. “I have a confession. I kinda invited you partly because I hoped you two might hit it off and it would cut Benny off at the pass.”

Castiel thought it might be the beer on top of the scotch he’d had at home, but he couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up. Before he could respond, there was a loud voice coming through the speakers and he and Sam both turned to the stage to watch the show begin.

“Hello, hello, hello! How are all you lovely ladies and germs, huh?” The drag queen wasn’t as tall as many were, even in her platform shoes. She had on a blonde wig in a style that, in the 90s, might have been called “The Rachel.” She lifted a hand up to her eyes to shield them from the spotlight. “Hey, Johnny, can we bump the house lights up a little bit?” she said to someone behind the audience.

Johnny complied and she smiled. “That’s better. Looks like we have a good house tonight.” She stepped closer to the edge of the stage to look around at the tables, but she didn’t look toward Sam and Cas’s table. “All right, some of you are not well groomed enough to be gay and some of you are wearing far too little makeup to be drag queens. Show of hands, how many of you motherfuckers are straight, huh? Don’t be shy!”

The drag queen clutched her chest and turned her head toward the back of the stage. “Esmerelda! By the Great Goddess Mother Judy Garland, _the straights have invaded our queer bar!_ ” she half stage whispered and half squeaked. The audience laughed with glee, showering her with applause. She turned back to the front of house with a beaming smile. “Well, if you’re gonna be that good to me, you little cuties, I will let your little hetero asses stay!”

She put the mic under one arm and leaned down to say, “If you’re good, I’ll even show you my titties!” she said, grabbing both sides of her chest and wiggling the whole thing back and forth. The audience roared. Castiel felt vaguely uncomfortable.

“Queens and gentlemen, my name is Sally Forth, and my band of misfits and I aim to misbehave this evening!” she called out, turning for the first time to the table where Sam and Castiel were sat. She smiled broadly at Sam, and said, “I’m gonna make this tall drink of sex juice in the front my body guard! He raised his hand with you straights, but he wouldn’t be the first straight boy got turnt and turned up in this mofo, y’all!”

Castiel wasn’t sure he understood what “Sally” was saying, but the people around him howled with laughter. Sam just chuckled affectionately. Sally must be the friend he was here for. Then Sally turned to Castiel and everything suddenly got stranger.

Her face went from amused and flirtatious to confused and disbelieving. “ _Castiel_?” Sally asked in the only slightly more masculine voice of Castiel’s brother Gabriel.

~~@~~

The show had been going on for an hour and Castiel hadn’t taken in much beyond the fact that his brother was onstage in a dress. Gabriel himself had recovered almost instantly. After saying Castiel’s name in shock, he’d remembered himself and looked back up with a smirk on his face.

“Johnny, can we get a spot light on this handsome brunet here? Queens and germs, let’s give a big Vega welcome to my baby brother!”

No matter how much Castiel wished for it, the floor did not open up and swallow him whole. Instead he was forced to sit there in a spotlight until Gabriel was ready to move on. Thankfully that only took about a minute of stony silence from Castiel to make happen. Then Gabriel had continued with his show.

Sam left him alone while he processed, until a lull in the action on stage finally came. Sam leaned over and whispered, “Hey, man, you okay?”

“I’ll be fine. I’m just surprised. I haven’t seen my brother in a long time.”

“Sammy!” a deep voice behind them called out.

Castiel didn’t turn to look, but he saw Sam’s face light up. “Hey, man! I thought you weren’t coming?”

“Yeah, well,” the voice—presumably Dean—said from much closer. “That’s before I found out that Benny knew damn well I didn’t know. Fucker deliberately hid it from me because he ‘knew I was too weak for success.’ I kicked him out and decided sitting around the house wasn’t doing me any favors.” Dean sighed heavily and dropped into the shadow-filled seat opposite Sam, where Castiel couldn’t really see him. “If I never meet another person who’s seen the billboard, that’ll be just fine with me.”

Dean leaned forward into the light then and Castiel thought he must have died—though he was not yet sure if he was in heaven or hell. Sam’s brother Dean was the man from the billboard across from his window. The man from his haunting dreams. And he wanted nothing to do with people who had seen said billboard.

“Hey, who’s this?” Dean asked, those green eyes—twice as arresting in real life—suddenly honing their gaze onto Castiel.

“Oh, uh, Dean this is Castiel. Jessica’s friend.”

“Dude, the girl you’ve got the date with?” Dean laughed. “She totally tried to set you up with him, didn’t she?” He grinned and slapped his leg. “I _knew_ it! Women don’t pick up guys in drag clubs, man, I told you!” He chuckled again. “You know what? I’m so happy to be right I’m not even going to ask for that twenty you owe. I’m gonna just let you keep it.”

“Jerk,” Sam said.

Dean just shoved him playfully and reached across with a hand for shaking. “Nice to meet ya. I’m Sam’s much more awesome older brother,” he said with a wink and a smile that was even worse than the pout from the billboard.

Castiel wasn’t sure if he smiled or grimaced, but he definitely made a face of some sort as he reached out and shook Dean’s hand. “Pleasure,” he said.

“Get this,” Sam said. “He’s also Gabe’s brother!”

“Sally’s got a brother?” Dean asked in obvious shock.

“Actually, he has three,” Castiel said, though he wasn’t certain how his brain was even functioning.

“That’s so weird. He’s got such an only child personality,” Sam said. Castiel couldn’t argue. “Man, I gotta hit the head. I’ll be right back.”

“So you came to see Gabe’s show?” Dean asked when they were alone.

“Uh, no. Well, yes, but I didn’t know it was my brother’s show. Sam asked me to come to fill seats.”

“Shit, that’s a weird coincidence, huh?”

“My life seems to be filled with them,” Castiel conceded, downing his beer and trying to get a waiter’s attention for a refill.

Dean raised a hand to someone behind them and signaled for beer for them both. “What other weird coincidences you got going on, Cas?” Dean asked, and Castiel, had he not known that the adonis before him was a model who could have his pick of any one he wanted, would have sworn it was asked flirtatiously.

 _I am sitting across the table from the man who has been haunting my every waking moment for weeks, when I came to this bar to forget him_. _How’s that for coincidence, Dean?_

“It’s nothing,” Castiel said quickly.

“All right, if you say so.” Dean gratefully took the beer the waiter brought and tipped it back. He downed half of it in one go. “What do you do for a living, Cas?” he asked when he was finished.

“I work for Adler and Talbot Accounting.”

“Oh, I’ve heard of them. It’s a pretty big place, right?” Dean asked, taking another sip.

“It’s rather large, yes.”

“I feel like I should know where it is. I know I’ve driven past it.”

Castiel swallowed hard. “It’s on Lexington and Fifth. Over by the Armory,” Castiel said softly.

“Oh, that’s right that’s—” All the color drained out of Dean’s face and he looked at Castiel, stunned.

Castiel felt his own face _fill_ with color, as he watched realization dawn on Dean’s face.

“Oh, God. You’ve seen it, haven’t you?” Dean asked quietly.

Castiel nodded. “It’s right across the street from my office.”

“Look, don’t judge me, all right? I needed the m—”

Dean was interrupted by the sound of Castiel’s hysterical laughter.

Dean narrowed his eyes to slits, staring Castiel down. “What’s so funny?”

Castiel sobered instantly. “No, I wasn’t laughing at you. I just... Judgment was the last thing on my mind when I looked at your billboard, Dean,” he said with a rueful smile as he chugged his new beer.

That seems-like-flirtation-but-can’t-be look was back on Dean’s face. “Oh, yeah?” Then Dean’s voice dropped and he slid into Sam’s seat, putting his face dangerously close to Castiel’s. “Then what _was_ on your mind, Castiel?” he purred.

Castiel was, as usual these days, mesmerized by Dean’s mouth. “Rolling around on your lips like a happy cat,” he said without thinking, gazed fixed on the lips in question.

Dean’s lips curled up into a smile and Castiel regained enough composure to raise his gaze up to those jade wonders Dean called eyes. They were giving Castiel what could only be called a smoldering look and Castiel thought he might really have died after all because he was definitely on fire.

“Yeah, gotta say, don’t think I’d mind rolling you around on my mouth,” Dean said and drew all the oxygen out of Castiel’s lungs.

“Hnnng,” Castiel said, as all the blood deserted his brain like rats off a sinking ship.

Dean’s grin only widened. “I like you, Castiel.”

“Dean, you’re in my seat!” Sam said and Castiel had not previously realized how unpleasant his voice was. Right now, however, it was grating. Nothing like the dulcet tones of his brother that Castiel wanted to listen to like a siren song until he drowned happy.

“Damn, Sammy, don’t get your panties in a twist,” Dean said, face registering annoyance. Then he turned his smile back on only for Castiel. “I’ll be back to talk to you in a little bit.”

“Yes,” was all Castiel could manage to say. It earned him another of Dean’s deep laughs, so it must have been a good thing to say.

“So what do you think of the show, Castiel?” Sam asked as he returned to his spot at the table.

“Show?” Castiel asked, mind still on pink lips and green eyes.

Sam laughed. “Uh, yeah, the _drag_ show that’s going on right in front of us?”

Castiel’s eyes widened. “Oh, sorry, yes, it’s, um, it’s very....” he trailed off as he caught Dean winking at him. “Sexy,” he finished and Dean’s eyes were sparkling with amusement.

“Sexy?” Sam asked. He turned back to the stage. “Huh. Maybe being gay changes the whole thing.”

Castiel, realizing his brother was currently up on stage, hastened to explain his answer. “No, no, I don’t mean sexy in that context,” he said quickly. He could see Dean laughing out of the corner of his eye. “It’s an expression,” he claimed. At least he thought he’d heard it used that way. “Like, ‘that’s a sexy car’ or ‘those cream puffs are sexy and I’ll take five,'” he said. He was almost certain Gabriel himself had used the later sentence on more than one occasion.

Sam gave him a bemused smile that said he still didn’t get it, but didn’t want to offend. Castiel gave him a flat look, glaring at him in frustration.

“I don’t find my brother sexy, Sam,” he said in his most annoyed voice.

Sam barked a laugh. Dean had his head on the table, his shoulders shaking. “Yeah, all right. I wasn’t thinking about that. It’s so weird Gabe having a brother.” He finished his beer and watched the stage, shaking his head.

All Castiel wanted was for the show to be over so that he could talk to Dean about his mouth some more. Or possibly get to touch it. Was that really too much to ask? A couple of minutes later, when the end of the show was announced, Castiel thought for a brief moment that he was in heaven and his prayers were being answered. Then he realized he was indeed in hell.

“Come on, let’s go back stage. I bet you and Gabe have a lot of catching up to do!” Sam said, hauling him to his feet and all but dragging him toward the back of the restaurant.

Dean smirked at him when their gazes met, but he was getting up and following them, so Castiel thought the situation might not be so bad after all. Before he knew it, he was backstage, standing in front of a brother he hadn’t seen in years. Said brother had his sandy hair pinned down under some sort of cap, his wig now on a stand on the vanity in front of him.

“Heya, Samboni! What’d you think of the show tonight? Pretty great, right?” Gabriel asked, eyes bright and chipper. Then he spotted Castiel and looked concerned. “Uh, hey, bro. Long time no see.” He turned back to the mirror, avoiding Castiel’s gaze.

“Do we no longer hug each other in greeting, Gabriel?” Castiel asked calmly.

Gabriel looked up at him in surprise. A smile broke over his face as he stood up so quickly he knocked over his chair. “Hells yeah, Casio! C’mere,” he said, pulling Castiel in for an uncomfortably tight embrace that Castiel struggled to return because he was losing feeling in his extremities. “Man, it’s good to see you,” Gabriel said as he released him at last. “I wasn’t sure you’d be in a hugging mood, what with me kinda, you know, running off.”

“There was no ‘kinda’ to it, Gabriel. You left without a word. However, since I suspect it was to do with our eldest brother’s raging homophobia, I cannot bring myself to blame you for your exit.” Castiel waited a beat, then added, “Though I do wish you had not made assumptions about me.”

“Yeah, what brings you to Vega, anyway, my church-going little brother?” Gabriel asked, sitting back down to attend to his makeup again.

“I haven’t seen the inside of a church in quite some time, Gabriel.” Castiel saw Dean frowning at the mention of church, so he said, “I came here tonight to try and find someone to get my mind off of the underwear model I’ve been obsessing over.” He kept his eyes on Dean as he said it and was rewarded with the other man turning pink on all his exposed skin.

“Oh, hey, Dean here is a—oh,” Gabriel started to say and then looked up and caught the nonverbal exchange between them.

Sam loudly coughed and cleared his throat. “Hey, Dean, why don’t you and Castiel go, um... you know, just go somewhere that isn’t here, maybe.”

“Ah, Sambini, eloquent as always. If you wanted to be alone with me, you could have just said so,” Gabriel said with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“In your dreams, shortstack,” Sam told Gabriel with an affectionate roll of his eyes.

“Well, Cas, whaddya say? Wanna get out of here?”

Castiel licked his lips nervously. “Yes,” he said and started to walk away. Then he turned back and said, “Sam, will you please give my idiot brother my phone number? Gabriel, please call me soon.”

  
~~@~~

By unspoken agreement, they ended up in Dean’s car. Castiel had enjoyed getting to see the backside of Dean on the way to the car, but he preferred the view with those eyes in it. When they were together in the confines of the vehicle—a beautiful piece of machinery and Castiel told Dean so—Castiel was struck suddenly by an intense bout of nerves.

“So where to, gorgeous?” Dean asked with a small smile.

“Do you often ask yourself questions in the third person?” Castiel asked.

Dean looked confused for a second, then laughed. “Looks, brains, a sense of humor, flattery... I hit the jackpot with you, huh, Cas?” He started the car. “How about I drive us to my place?”

Castiel licked his lips. “Yes, I think I like that plan,” he said.

After a couple of minutes had passed in silence, Dean turned on the radio. The volume was low, so Castiel could only just make out the sort of music he thought they generally played on so-called Classic Rock stations. He realized he knew virtually nothing at all about the man next to him and that did not calm his nerves.

“So, accounting, huh? Did you get into that because it was sensible or because you love numbers?” Dean asked.

Castiel thought it was rather an insightful question. “I love numbers,” he said. “There’s an order to things in numbers that you don’t find in the rest of life. I find it soothing. People can be too... unpredictable.”

“I hear ya there. People are hardly ever what they seem.” He smiled. “Except for me, of course. I’m just a pretty face.”

Castiel frowned, almost certain that was not true. However, all he said was, “How about you? What led you to choose modeling?”

Dean looked embarrassed. “Yeah, I’m not really a model. I mean, I posed for the picture, but, like, it was just to make some extra cash. I never had any idea it was gonna be some big campaign deal, you know?”

“That’s what your friend lied to you about,” Castiel guessed.

“Yeah—hey, how’d you know about that?”

“I heard you mention it to your brother.” It wasn’t the full truth, but Castiel had no wish to cause discord between the brothers because of his own slip of the tongue.

“Oh, right. Yeah, Benny, man. He’s a good guy, he just doesn’t always make the right choices. If he wants something, he’s kind of a shoot first and ask questions later kind of guy, you know what I mean?” Dean asked.

Castiel wasn’t sure he did, but he thought he’d hazard a guess. “I suppose you mean if he finds a way to make money, he’s not above tricking someone he calls a friend in order to make it happen.”

“Well, yeah, kinda.” He pursed his lips.

“Mm,” Castiel said, not wanting to admit what a poor friend he thought Benny must be. Still, Benny had gotten Dean onto the billboard across of Castiel’s office, so Castiel couldn’t find it in himself to hate him.

“Anyway, I posed and I’m making a lot of money, I just don’t like all the attention,” Dean said. Then he whipped his head over to look at Castiel and back at the road. “I mean, present company excepted, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Castiel said, having been captivated and captured once more by the beauty of Dean’s eyes and lips.

Before any further conversation could take place, Dean turned down a long and not very well maintained driveway. At the end of it was a farm house that wasn’t run down, but it had certainly seen better days, as far as paint went.

“Sorry it looks so bad right now. I just bought it about a month ago and I haven’t gotten around to fixing up the outside yet,” Dean said. Then he licked his lips and dropped his voice at least an octave to softly state, “Bedroom’s nice, though.”

“I’d very much like to see it,” Castiel said, licking his own lips.

He had no real memory of getting out of the car, into the house or up the stairs. The next thing of which he was really aware was standing inside the—admittedly very nice—master bedroom, staring at Dean’s lips like they were a crystal ball and he was a fortune teller looking for answers.

“You really have a fascination with my mouth, huh?” Dean asked huskily.

Castiel’s gaze snapped up to meet Dean’s and got lost there instead. He tried to counts the shades of green in Dean’s irises, but as they were blown wide with wanting, it was hard to do. Castiel wondered briefly if his own eyes were even blue anymore or just fully black.

“Please stop talking and let me taste them,” Castiel said, pulling Dean forward by his shirt.

Dean’s eyes widened, but there was a small pleased smile curving his lips. He eagerly leaned in and closed the gap, wrapping his hands around Castiel’s hips. Castiel had a hard time grasping the fact that those warm, plump, perfect lips currently pressing and sucking against his own were the very same ones he had been pining over for weeks. This was so much better than even the billboard had led him to believe.

“Mmph,” he moaned as Dean deepened the kiss.

He felt himself being turned and then there was a moment of freefall before he was landing on a foam mattress, Dean’s lips still pressed firmly to his. The hard lines of Dean’s warm body were pressed all along Castiel’s chest and legs. There was a thick thigh wreaking havoc on his aching erection and Castiel blessed and cursed it by turns as it moved against him.

Somehow, he lost his shirt, but he barely noticed, until he felt Dean’s skin against his own. He opened his eyes then to drink in the sight he’d been watching from his office for too many days. He was shocked to find the billboard didn’t even do the man justice. In real life, he was so much better. His angles and curves were sharper and softer by turns. His nipples tasted better than Castiel’s imagination could have guessed.

The noise Dean made when Castiel licked at his hips as he pulled down Dean’s well worn jeans was nothing like the ones from Castiel’s fantasies. It was a thousand times better than even the dirtiest one. Then suddenly, Dean was standing before him in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs and Castiel knew for certain that he had died and was not, in fact, in hell. God had been very, very good to him.

The man standing before him was the same man from the billboard, but one million times better than any photograph could ever do justice. Standing before him like this, Dean almost literally stole Castiel’s breath.

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever touched, Dean,” Castiel said reverently, reaching out to do just that.

Dean looked inordinately pleased and pulled Castiel in for another kiss, doing his best to get Castiel’s pants down without separating their mouths. Castiel had to help in the end, but together they managed it. Finally, they were down to just their underwear and Castiel thought he might just explode from bliss while doing nothing more than vaguely rubbing their bodies together.

He pulled out of the kiss at last and growled, “If you don’t open me up and fuck me in the next five minutes, I’m going to start humping your leg, Dean.”

Dean looked at him with wide eyes. “You don’t want to top?”

Castiel could feel his face lose all expression. “Have I stopped speaking English, Dean? Please let me know.”

Instead of answering, Dean fumbled in a box under the bed and brought out the necessary supplies. He lay them and Castiel on the bed, while he remained standing beside it. He bent down and kissed Castiel again, working his mouth steadily southward in a seemingly random trail of kisses, bites and licks. He bit Castiel’s hipbone as his fingers slid under the waistband of his boxers.

The cool air of the room felt good but shocking against the burning heat of Castiel’s erection. Dean finished removing the underwear and then got onto the bed, kissing the head of Castiel’s leaking shaft and licking away the precome that he found there.

Castiel gasped and raised a leg, offering himself up to Dean. Dean slid down so that only his green eyes and forehead were visible. His hands were gripping and spreading Castiel’s cheeks and then his tongue dipped in the cleft of Castiel’s ass that extended below his testicles and he let out a surprised little sound.

“If you weren’t in such a hurry, I’d really go to town, but since you wanna speed things along....” Dean teased, taking one more lick before lifting back up.

“I might have been a bit hasty,” Castiel said breathlessly as lips pressed, hot and gentle, against his inner thigh.

“Yeah? Well, then, let’s see how many times I can get you to swear tonight, huh?”

Without further warning or teasing, Dean pulled Castiel’s cheeks apart and slid his tongue directly to Castiel’s rim. Dean’s hands and thumbs massaged and opened the muscles of his ass, while Dean used his tongue to drive Castiel to the edge of madness. By the time Dean swapped his tongue for lubed fingers, Castiel had lost count of his usage of the word “fuck,” but he knew it was extensive.

“37,” Dean murmured, lifting up to lavish Castiel’s erection with the same sort of tongue bath his ass had received. “Not bad, but I think I can do better,” Dean said as he sucked Castiel down at the same time his finger found the right spot to press inside him.

“Oh, fuckfuckfuckfuck _FUCK_!” Castiel shouted, eliciting a filthy chuckle from Dean that hummed around his cock.

“Let’s see if we can break a hundred,” Dean said with a gleam in his eye as he briefly pulled off of Castiel’s shaft.

Between his fingers pressing and twisting and stretching Castiel to his limits, and a mouth that seemed to know exactly every spot on Castiel’s erection that liked to be touched—and how it liked to be touched—Castiel met and exceeded the goal easily. By the time he was a writhing, twitching pile of incoherence, Dean told him they’d got to 125.

“Please, Dean,” Castiel begged.

Dean slid on the condom and gently rolled Castiel onto his stomach. He lay flat on top of Castiel and lined himself up. Dean had prepped Castiel so well that his cock breached him easily. Castiel moaned in pleasure as the thick shaft spread him open, the heat of it the perfect foil for the cool lubricant.

Dean slid in and out of him almost lazily at first. Then he started lifting higher and snapping his hips back down. For a long time he continued like that as Castiel spiraled higher and higher in pleasure. A hard and fast in stroke followed by a long, slow out stroke. After a while, however, apparently it was too much even for Dean. He began to speed up and Castiel had stopped being the only one swearing.

Dean pulled out and pulled up at Castiel’s hips until he was up on his knees. Then he slipped back inside and found the way to slide his head right against that tight bundle of nerves that made Castiel see stars and taste infinity.

“More, please, Dean, more,” Castiel begged, hardly even aware of making the sound.

He got up on his elbows to improve his leverage, so that he could slam backward as Dean came forward. Apparently Dean liked it as much as he did because hands came up to grip his hips tightly and yank him back even harder. Dean was bottoming out every time, burying his shaft inside Castiel and making Castiel’s own erection bob wildly.

Dean’s hips stopped making the full arc and just started pulling about halfway out. His hand crept over Castiel’s hip and gripped his shaft in a firm and sure grip that had Castiel gasping and panting and bucking back harder than ever.

“Yeah, come on, Cas, fucking come, baby,” Dean said.

Unaware that such a thing would even work on him, Castiel did, almost on command, his eyes practically rolling back in his head as his toes curled and the most intense pleasure he could ever remember feeling gathered and exploded between his legs.

Dean pulled out and rolled Castiel back over, hoisting one of his legs up toward his shoulder. He rocked inside Castiel once more, sinking home with an expression of relief on his face. He leaned down and kissed Castiel deeply and then his hips picked up speed. He pulled back to look Castiel in the eyes and it was all over for him too. With a hoarse cry, he collapsed on top of Castiel, his breath landing hot and ragged against Castiel’s chest.

After a few minutes of floating in bliss, Castiel noticed Dean begin to stir. “I’ll get a towel to clean us up,” he said as he crawled over Castiel to get out of bed.

Castiel continued drifting in his fog of joy. He’d not only gotten to have amazing sex with the literal man of his dreams, it had been better than the dreams. The fact that he actually found Dean to be pleasant company was a nice bonus. He’d been so angry with himself about the billboard because he’d found himself imagining conversations as well as sex, which struck him as far too fanciful. Now that he knew such things were possible, he wanted more of both.

Dean came back with the towel and carefully cleaned Castiel off before attending to himself and the sheets. Castiel watched him silently, the corners of his mouth tilted up slightly as he did so.

“So, um, you could stay. I mean, I know this was just a one night stand to satisfy your curiosity, but no reason we can’t have a round two, right?” Dean said with a grin that Castiel could easily see was fake.

Castiel’s eyes narrowed to slits. “Do you want this to be a one night stand?”

Dean looked like he’d been caught out while stealing. “What?”

“Dean, if you do not want to see me again, then say so. Do us both a favor, however, and do not operate under the assumption that you know what _I_ want unless I’ve told you.”

Dean licked his lips nervously. “What, uh, do you want, Cas?”

Castiel stood up and got very close to Dean and dropped his voice down a couple of octaves. “You, inside me again, just as soon as my refractory period will allow. And after that, dinner with you tomorrow, followed by more being naked in your bed.”

“Oh. You really want... dinner? With me?”

Castiel tilted his head, considering for the first time that Dean might only be interested in sex without strings. “Is that not acceptable? Would you prefer that we only have sex and nothing else?”

“No, I just... I mean, you didn’t exactly fall for my intellect, right?” Dean said with a brittle laugh.

“Dean, if I believed you were a fool, I wouldn’t be here right now. Though with your current behavior, I am beginning to question my opinion.” When Castiel saw that Dean truly believed the things he was saying—and was more than a little confused by Castiel’s refuting of them—Castiel’s gaze softened. “Dean. It is true that I was drawn by your face, but as much appeal as your lips had, there was also something in your eyes that drew me. An intelligence I could see even in a photo. While their beauty is certainly seductive, that spark of intellect is part of that beauty.”

Dean laughed nervously. “Um, okay, if you say so.” Castiel growled, causing Dean to jerk his head back. “Dude, what?”

“You’re being annoying, but you’re also beautiful and I’d really like to start having sex again. It’s very frustrating.”

“I could stop talking,” Dean offered in a small voice.

“Perfect,” Castiel said, pulling him forward into a kiss.

~~@~~

The next morning when he got to work, Castiel stared out the window and smiled for half an hour before he ever got started on anything work related. Still, he wasn’t getting lost in daydreams—just memories—so he was actually working a bit faster than he had been recently. He did occasionally look up at the billboard and smile at those beautiful eyes he’d spent so much time looking into. He would convince Dean yet of his true worth. He would make certain of it.

“Hey, Cas!” Jessica said brightly, as she walked in a little before lunch time. “Did you have fun last night?”

Castiel couldn’t help the smile that broke across his face. “Last night was exactly what I needed, Jessica. Thank you for asking.”

“You look happy, Cas. Like, _really_ happy. Wow. What happened to you, huh?” she asked with a curious smile.

Castiel pointed out the window. “Do you know who that is?”

She glanced out at the billboard and shrugged. “He doesn’t really look familiar. Should I know him?”

“That,” Castiel said, getting up and walking around his desk to stand closer to Jessica and the billboard. “Is Sam’s brother Dean. He was also at Vega last night. Unlike his brother, Dean _does_ enjoy the company of men.” Castiel gave her a sly grin. “Mine in particular, as it happens.”

“So Sam’s not gay, but his brother is?” Jessica asked in delight at this unexpected turn of events.

“Well, technically, Dean has not narrowed down a label. He just likes people, so far as I can tell.”

“Wow, still. That’s such a great coincidence! Glad I tried to hook you up with Sam,” she said cheekily.

Castiel smiled back. “As am I, Jessica.”

Jessica started to leave and saw their mutual friend outside. “Hey, Hannah, come here!” Hannah smiled at them both as she walked in. Jessica pointed out the window. “That’s Cas’s new boyfriend,” she said gleefully.

“Oh, really?” Hannah asked, looking impressed. “Very nice.”

“Are we still on for dinner tonight?” Jessica asked.

“Absolutely! I need it after the week I’ve had,” Hannah said.

“You’re welcome to join us, Cas. Tell us all about your new beau,” Jessica said with a wink.

“Thank you, but I have plans already,” Castiel said with a smile, wondering if he had ever said that before and had it be true.

“Well, maybe I’ll see you Friday at Vega then,” Jessica said turning to go. “Bye for now!”

“Goodbye, Castiel,” Hannah said, also leaving.

He hadn’t corrected Jessica on her use of the word boyfriend, though it wasn’t strictly accurate. Still, he’d enjoyed the sound of it a great deal. Perhaps one day. Regardless of labels, Castiel was even more anxious for dinner.

~~@~~

“So what do you do when you’re not playing with numbers?” Dean asked as he took his first sip of beer.

They hadn’t been at the restaurant very long. Dean had picked Castiel up precisely at seven—looking even more gorgeous than the night before, in a moss green shirt and black jeans—and taken him to a pleasant little bistro only a few blocks from Adler and Talbot. Dean had convinced him to just order the special, without checking to see what it was, and Castiel had done so.

“I read. I watch nature and history documentaries. Sometimes I sculpt. What about you?” Castiel took a drink of his wine and grimaced. It wasn’t particularly good.

Dean smirked. “Should have gotten a beer.”

“I prefer wine with food,” Castiel said sullenly.

“Doesn’t look like you prefer _that_ wine with food. And anyway, beer can be awesome with food,” Dean assured him.

“Well, perhaps if I knew what I was ordering, I could have chosen a more suitable beverage. I tried to get something that would go with anything.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Man, you’re grumpy when you’re hungry, you know that?”

Castiel was instantly contrite. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a bad companion.”

Dean’s expression went soft. “You’re not, Cas. It’s actually kinda cute.”

Castiel’s face hardened. “I am not cute.”

“Dude. You’re fucking adorable.” He laughed at Castiel’s dark expression. “Anyway, I’ll signal the waitress and we’ll get you a beer, okay?”

“Fine.”

The transaction was easily accomplished, with Dean somehow convincing Castiel to let Dean choose his beer. When it arrived, however, he was pleased with the choice.

“This is very good.”

“Much better than that wine, huh?” Dean busied himself opening his silverware roll and putting his napkin in his lap. “I’m glad you’re here with me, Cas,” he said softly to his lap.

A smile split Castiel’s cheeks and he looked at Dean until the other man made eye contact again. “So am I, Dean. Very glad.”

Dean smiled shyly and sipped his beer until their food arrived.

As they ate, they talked about many things. Dean shared a little of his family history, talking about Sam almost as though he were simultaneously a divine being and a three year old child who had to be looked after. The love he felt for his brother was obvious in every word.

Dean absently rubbed his thigh. “I’m pretty sure your brother’s got a thing for my brother. It kinda breaks my heart a little bit, if I’m honest. Gabe’s a good guy, but Sam’s always gonna play on the other team, you know?”

“It’s just as well your brother doesn’t return Gabriel’s feelings. If anyone has ever been a lithromantic, it’s my brother Gabriel.”

“A what now?” Dean asked, clearly perplexed.

“A lithromantic. Essentially someone who falls in love, but does not need that love to be reciprocated. Depending on the person, they may not even _want_ the love reciprocated. It might make their own love go away.”

Dean continued to stare at him, blinking in confusion for a few moments. Then he shook his head and his face cleared. “Okay, so you’re saying Gabe doesn’t actually want Sam to like him back?”

“Yes, exactly. He loves love. He has no interest in actual relationships. It ruins love for him. So falling for someone who could never fall for him back is actually his ideal situation.” Castiel took his last bite and washed it down with the rest of his beer. “That was delicious.”

Dean grinned. “Told you! I’m glad about Gabe, though. You know that I don’t have to worry about him getting hurt.”

“You absolutely don’t. He’s happiest like this.”

“Good deal,” Dean said. “So, you interested in dessert or you wanna get out of here? Maybe catch a movie?”

“I think I’m too full for dessert, but if you want something, please feel free to order something. I am enjoying our conversation too much for a movie, I think,” Castiel admitted shyly.

Dean beamed. “Me too, actually.”

The waitress strolled up with a dessert cart just then. “Can I interest either of you in a fresh fruit tart or perhaps our warm caramel chocolate pecan pie?”

“Oh, hell yeah,” Dean said. “The pecan. With a scoop of ice cream? And two coffees?” he said with a questioning look at Castiel, who nodded.

“Coming right up.”

~~@~~

Back in the car once more, Dean asked, “So, where to, gorgeous?” with a hint of a smile.

“I could show you my office,” Castiel suggested.

Dean shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

A few minutes later, they were riding the elevator to Castiel’s in mostly comfortable silence, Dean’s hand in his. When the bell dinged to signal their stop, they smiled at each other and let go. Castiel stepped out first and led the way to his office. He input his code and unlocked the door, knowing it was unlikely anyone would question his after hours visit. He’d done it many times before for less interesting reasons.

“So this is where the magic happens, huh?” Dean asked, looking at Castiel’s tidy desk. “You mind if I sit?”

“Please,” Castiel said, holding a hand out toward the chair behind his computer.

Dean smiled at Castiel as he sat down, then his face registered shock as his eyes swept left. “Oh, shit,” he breathed, having obviously caught sight of the view from the window. “I’m all you can see from here.”

“I know,” Castiel said. Then he smiled. “Not that I mind now.”

Dean continued to looked shocked for a moment then frowned. “Now? You mean you minded before?”

Castiel ducked his head. “A little. I couldn’t get you out of my head. I was dreaming about you. Not just sex, but about talking to you. Getting to know you.” He looked over his shoulder and out the window. “You were quite a distraction.”

“Sorry, I guess,” Dean said, though he didn’t look it. If anything, he looked pleased.

“I’m not,” Castiel admitted with a smile. “It’s even worse now, you know. You’re so much better looking and better to talk to in person.”

Dean laughed. “Glad to hear it.” He stood up and walked back around the desk toward Castiel. “What do you say we head back to your place, Cas?” he asked in a husky voice. “Wanna make sure you know I’m not a billboard.”

Castiel had no objection to that—though he wasn’t certain he could ever believe Dean was real. They kissed soundly in the middle of Castiel’s office and then left the building in a bigger hurry than they had arrived in it. In no time at all they were back at Castiel’s tiny rental house.

As they pulled onto the short driveway, Castiel reflected that his property was the polar opposite of Dean’s in nearly every way. Castiel rented where Dean owned and, in complete contrast to Dean’s, Castiel’s house was tiny and new and immaculately kept. Dean’s house was cozy and inviting inside, while Castiel’s was almost completely bare of decoration, leaving it seeming cold and impersonal, Castiel realized for the first time.

“You just move in?” Dean asked when they got inside.

“No. Actually I’ve lived here for eight years.”

“You don’t have a TV.”

“No. I have books,” Castiel said, gesturing at the various piles and stacks of them that were on or at least near his shelving units.

Dean laughed. “Yeah, so I see.” He scrubbed at the back of his neck. “Man, I don’t know why I’m nervous all of a sudden. I mean, I already knew you were smart, and I _read_ sometimes, but—”

Castiel put a finger against Dean’s lips to stop him from rambling and saying things that were borderline insults to himself. Then he pulled his finger away and replaced it with his lips. He kept the kiss chaste, since it was merely meant to calm Dean.

“I thought your intention was to prove to me you are more than a billboard, Dean. So why do you insist on acting as though you have no more depth?” He was frowning and Dean was looking at him like he wasn’t quite sure if he was being tricked.

“I’m just trying to be honest, Cas. There’s not a lot to me. What you see is pretty much what you get. A pretty face with a strong back—”

This time, Castiel covered Dean’s whole mouth with all the fingers of one of his hands. “What is your favorite book?”

Dean looked hurt and confused. He didn’t try to speak until Castiel removed his hand. “Why do you care so much?”

“Dean,” Castiel said plaintively. “I like you. Rather a lot, actually, and I don’t like most people very much at all. Yes, I can’t deny that I was quite taken with your face when I saw it on a billboard. Your body too. But those things are not why we are here right now. Having the most amazing sex of my life with you last night is not the reason, either.”

Dean looked like he was being scolded. “Then why, Cas? What else is there to me?”

Castiel felt his jaw literally drop open. Before that moment he had believed such things to be merely apocryphal, but it was happening to him now. “Dean, how can you say that? Is that really what you believe?” Castiel surged forward and grasped Dean’s face in both hands. “I only met you yesterday, but I already know that’s not even remotely true.” He kissed Dean again, more gently this time. “You love people very deeply. Your brother means everything to you. You care about other people getting their hearts broken, even when they are really your brother’s friend and not yours.”

Dean shrugged, skin flushing slightly. “That’s, I mean... family and friends are everything.”

“You cared enough about me, even though you thought this was just a one night, one time thing, to ask me, not just about _what_ I do, but _why_ I do it.” Castiel kissed him again, with much more heat behind it. “You’re a generous lover and an attentive one.” He ran a hand across Dean’s cheek. “You have a biting wit and a keen mind that picks up things that others miss. When I look at you, the last thing I see is a two dimensional image, Dean.”

This time, it was Dean who surged forward, clutching at Castiel’s face and dragging him up for a desperate, messy kiss. His hands were everywhere, but this time, he didn’t bother trying to remove any clothes. Instead, when he had thoroughly kissed Castiel’s mouth and neck to his satisfaction, Dean just dropped to his knees and started undoing Castiel’s pants.

When the button and zipper were open, Dean grabbed pants and underwear together and yanked them unceremoniously down to Castiel’s knees, green eyes boring into Castiel’s as he did so. He maintained eye contact as he leaned forward and slipped his lips over the head, flooding warm pleasure through Castiel’s lower half.

“Dean,” he moaned breathlessly as Dean closed his eyes and sank forward, mouth hot and wet and perfect as it sucked Castiel’s erection down.

Dean’s hands kept busy too, roaming over cheeks and testicles and thighs as if unable to choose. He pulled off and looked up at Castiel again before moving down to mouth wetly at his balls. Castiel thought he might pass out from joy when Dean sucked one into his mouth and pulled off again, grazing his teeth lightly against it before sucking it back into the moist, perfect heat of his mouth. Castiel knew he wouldn’t last long at this rate.

When a finger teased over his hole, Castiel bucked backward into it, but Dean’s mouth chased him, swallowing down before drawing back off with a suction that was driving Castiel mad. Then Dean stopped going for depth and instead started up a relentless rhythm, sucking and licking at Castiel’s erection until Castiel forgot everything else.

It was only a couple of minutes before he was grasping the top of Dean’s head, trying to pull him back. “I’m close, Dean, I’m—”

But Dean ignored him and sank onto him with his mouth, increasing speed and suction until Castiel had no choice but to give into the explosive pleasure that was building in his cock. As the first wave of his orgasm crested, he gave a harsh cry, hips bucking involuntarily. Dean kept bobbing his head up and down, more slowly but with full intensity, until every last ounce of ecstasy had been wrung from Castiel’s body.

As soon as Dean slid his mouth off Castiel’s flagging erection, Castiel slid to his own knees on the floor. He pulled Dean in for a grateful kiss, uncaring about the taste of himself on Dean’s tongue. He wanted to taste Dean now, but first he had to get his bearings. He kept kissing Dean until he started to get his breath back.

“It’s your turn, but only if you let me take you to the bedroom and spare my knees,” Castiel said, carefully standing up and rubbing gently at the red spots the floor had left on his knees.

“Deal,” Dean agreed, raising a hand for help off the floor. “Hardwood floor wasn’t exactly the best place to show off my blowjob skills, I guess.”

“Don’t worry,” Castiel purred. “As soon as I start showing off mine, you’ll forget you even have knees.”

A little while later, when the velvet of Dean’s thick cock was sliding back and forth against his tongue and he had a lube-slicked finger pressing mercilessly against Dean’s prostate, Castiel was pretty sure he’d been right.

~~@~~

By Friday at lunch time, Castiel and Jessica had agreed to carpool to Vega for their respective dates. At Four fifty-nine exactly, Castiel shut down his computer, just as Jessica appeared in his doorway. She was bouncing on the balls of her feet and grinning from ear to ear.

“You ready?” she asked and he nodded.

“Do you think I look all right for a date? Not too formal?” Castiel asked.

He had changed out of his suit at lunch and into a pair of slacks and a button up blue shirt that Jessica assured him now showed off his eyes.

“You look great. How about me?” Jessica asked, twirling.

“You look beautiful, as always,” Castiel told her sincerely.

Once in the car, Jessica plied him with questions about his interactions Sam as she drove them to the club. He answered as best he could, though he kept to himself things he had learned from Dean. She seemed more excited with every bit of information she heard, so Castiel thought Sam was in for a lucky evening.

“I can’t believe he’s straight,” she said. “I mean, he kind of seemed into me, but he also seemed really chummy with the main queen in the drag show.”

“About that,” Castiel said. “Gabriel—er—Sally Forth is actually my brother.”

“What?”

So they spent the remainder of the drive discussing some of Castiel’s sordid family history. When they pulled into the parking space, Jessica stopped and took a deep breath. She turned and gave Castiel a shaky smile.

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous,” she said with a small laugh.

“You’ll be fine. Sam likes you a lot.”

When they got inside, neither Sam nor Dean had arrived yet. Gabriel’s show was earlier on Fridays, but they still had about twenty minutes to spare. Jessica ordered a pitcher of margaritas and a plate of appetizers for the four of them. Just as their drinks arrived, Castiel heard a familiar voice from behind him.

“Hey! Sorry we’re late, but Sammy here had to curl his hair.”

“Dean!” Sam cried indignantly.

“Nice to meet you, Jessica. I don’t know what you’re doing with this loser, but sadly, I’m already spoken for,” Dean said, turning to beam at Castiel. “Heya, Cas,” Dean whispered, leaning down for a kiss with his smile still firmly in place. “Miss me?”

“I don’t know how he could, with your giant face staring into his office all day. Probably gives the guy nightmares. Castiel, blink twice if this is less a date and more Stockholm Syndrome,” Sam said.

“Howdy, Cas-a-fras! And if it isn’t Sam-a-lam and Dean-dong,” Gabriel said with malicious glee as he came over to their table. He eyed Jessica curiously. “Met you the other night, right? I’m afraid I’ve forgotten your name, beautiful.”

“She’s my date, Jessica,” Sam said in a warning tone.

“She can speak,” Jessica said in a voice equally full of warning. She smiled at Gabriel. “You can call me Jess. I work with your brother at Adler and Talbot.”

“Small world,” Gabriel said. “And you’re dating this lug?” he asked, hooking a thumb toward Sam. “Good luck with that.” He bent down to stage whisper behind his hand. “He’s a drooler!”

“Gabe!” Sam cried indignantly. Castiel noted it seemed to be a theme with him.

“It runs in the family,” Castiel said with a smirk at Dean.

“You shut your face,” Dean said, pointing at said face. “I didn’t hear any complaints last night,” he said as he took the seat next to Castiel at last and downed a large portion of Castiel’s margarita.

“That’s mine,” Castiel said, taking the glass back.

Dean topped off Castiel’s glass with the pitcher and poured his own, downing half of that before clutching his head. Sam and Gabriel both laughed, but Castiel pulled Dean in for a deep kiss. When they pulled apart, Dean blinked at him in confusion and surprise.

“What was that for?”

Castiel shrugged. “I’ve heard the best way to cure brain freeze is to put your tongue on the roof of your mouth. I thought maybe it would work just as well with someone else’s.”

Dean grinned. “You’re a goddamned genius,” he said, pulling Castiel in for another kiss.

~~@~~

A multitude of margaritas later for each of them, Dean was perched on Castiel’s lap, laughing at everything and garnering so much attention that Gabriel finally pulled him onstage. Presumably Sally Forth didn’t usually have a dance with an audience member, given the amount of enthusiastic applause—and wolf whistles—the pair received as they danced to Cake’s version of ‘Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps.’

When the dance was over, Dean came down off the stage and went right back to sitting sideways on Castiel’s lap, arms wrapped around his neck. Castiel certainly didn’t object. Especially since drunk Dean was even more affectionate than sober Dean—and even more fond of kisses.

Sam, who had had fewer drinks, but according to Dean was more of a lightweight, said, “Guys, guys, shh, guys!” Everyone turned to him and he said, “I forget,” with a frown on his face. Then he slapped the table. “I remember! We should get a cab. We are... not sober.”

“Two cabs, Sammy. I don’t think we’re all gonna fit in one.” He grinned at Jessica mischievously. “I think you two are going to have to share, though because Cas here is going home with me, right Cas?”

“Yes. Although, I think I want dessert first. Doesn’t dessert sound good?” Castiel asked, thinking about some of the items he’d seen on the menu earlier.

“Dude are you drunk or high?” Dean asked, giggling.

“Says the guy who’s _giggling_ ,” Sam said, also giggling.

“Oh, my gosh, chocolate cake would be so good!” Jessica said in a deep excited voice.

“Pie!” Dean whined.

Castiel flagged down the waiter. “Can we get four coffees and the dessert menu, please?”

A little while later, Dean and Cas were sharing their slices of pie—pecan and lemon meringue, respectively—with each other, while Jessica was jealousy guarding her chocolate cake and Sam was eating a fruit plate and enduring everyone’s not-so-gentle mockery.

By the time they were ready to leave—much to Gabriel’s disappointment, but Castiel had his phone number now and promised to call him—Castiel was feeling much more sober. He wasn’t sure about the other three, though Dean had stopped giggling at least. In the cab, Dean told the driver his address, leaned over on Castiel’s shoulder, and promptly took a nap. Castiel just sat back and enjoyed the cuddle, along with the up-close scent of Dean’s shampoo.

When they pulled to a stop in front of Dean’s house, the cabbie quoted Castiel a price and Castiel added an extra ten for tip, mostly because the man had to navigate the hellacious driveway. He nudged Dean awake as gently as he could and together they stumbled out of the car. Dean took extra time getting the front door open, since he was busy scrubbing sleeping out of his eyes.

Once inside, Dean said, “Man, sorry I fell asleep on you. Tequila always makes me a little sleepy.” He smiled. “I’m good now, though. You want me to make some coffee?”

Castiel smiled back. “That would be nice.”

Dean turned to leave the room, then called over his shoulder, “Shit, man did you pay for the cab? I was gonna get it.”

“It’s fine, Dean,” Castiel said, following him. “I’ll let you get the next one.”

Dean smiled warmly. “Next time? I like the sound of next time.”

Castiel returned his smile. “So do I, Dean.”

Dean started making the coffee and then there was a knock on the door. It wasn’t incredibly late yet—they’d gotten drunk fairly early in the evening—but Dean still frowned, obviously not expecting company. Castiel chose to occupy himself by finding spoons, mugs, cream and sugar. Since Dean put everything in a logical place, it wasn’t very difficult. By the time he was done, the coffee was ready and he poured himself a cup.

Dean ducked his head in the kitchen. “Hey, uh, you wanna meet Benny? You don’t have to, but he’s here and so are you, so....”

“Should we offer him coffee?” Castiel asked.

“Yeah, okay,” Dean said, looking pleased and coming over to give Castiel a small hug on the shoulders. “I’ll go get him.”

Castiel finished adding items to his coffee and sat back to take a sip, just as a very large gentleman with a beard came through the door Dean had just exited. The man waved and Castiel smiled back politely before tasting his coffee.

“Hey, Benny, this is Cas. Cas, this is Benny that I told you about.” Dean walked over to fix a mug for himself and got another mug down for Benny.

“Good to meet you, Cas,” Benny said, lending a subtle ‘Z’ sound to Castiel’s nickname.

“Likewise. I understand you’re partially responsible for Dean posing for the billboard that’s across from my office,” Castiel said, looking at his coffee rather than at Benny.

“Yeah, I’m afraid so. I came over to apologize to Dean here, but he’s already decided to forgive me for some reason.”

“I was just going to thank you,” Castiel said, looking up and giving Benny a secret little smile. “It’s made my work day much more enjoyable.” Then he looked at Dean. “Not to mention my off time.”

“Right,” Benny said, looking vaguely uncomfortable. “Well, uh, the other reason I came over was because they actually want you to do another campaign, Dean.”

Dean snorted. “Apologize, huh? More like grovel.” He banged the mug of coffee down in front of Benny. “Drink your coffee, asshat.”

“Dean—”

“What? Have I said no? Drink your damn coffee and get out. I’ll talk to you about business some other time, when you’re not pissing me off.”

“Maybe it’s best if I just go without the coffee,” Benny said, stepping backward. “Cas, sorry to ruin your evening.”

Castiel tilted his head in confusion. “What makes you think you have? I hardly think being annoyed with you is going to stop Dean from having sex with me.”

Dean nearly choked on his coffee. Castiel was a little worried, but then he saw Dean was definitely amused and not embarrassed.

“Um. Yeah. Okay, I’m just gonna... Bye,” Benny said, walking out in a hurry.

“Cas!” Dean said as soon as the front door closed. “You are fucking awesome!” Dean walked behind Castiel to wrap his arms around him and lean his chin on Castiel’s shoulder. “Seriously, that was hysterical.” He was stopped from saying more by an intense yawn that took over his whole face.

“You’re still tired.”

“Nah, the coffee will perk me right up,” Dean said, then yawned again. He smiled sheepishly. “Soon.”

“Or we could just go to sleep,” Castiel suggested.

Dean looked at him for a minute, as though assessing the sincerity of Castiel’s offer. “ _Cuckoo’s Nest_ ,” he said suddenly.

Castiel’s brow furrowed at the abrupt non sequitur. “Pardon?”

“My favorite book. It’s _One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest_.”

Castiel smiled broadly. “I don’t believe that’s the sort of book a billboard would read, Dean.”

Dean scratched the back of his neck and ducked his head shyly. “Yeah, probably not.” He glanced up at Castiel and immediately back down at his coffee. “Hey, um, I know it’s kinda soon, but....” He blew out a breath and stood up straight. Then he smirked. “Since you were kinda dating my face for a couple weeks before we even met, you wanna go ahead and make this thing official and be my boyfriend?”

Castiel dragged Dean into a very thorough kiss.

“Whoa, that was, um, intense. It was a lot like the margarita kiss too I noticed,” Dean said.

“I figured if you didn’t know the answer to your question, you must have brain freeze again,” Castiel said reasonably.

Dean grinned broadly at him. “Fuck, you’re awesome, Cas.”

“You can show me your gratitude in bed,” Castiel said.

“Thought you were fine with just sleeping?” Dean asked with a smirk.

“I am,” Castiel assured him. “And a back massage would really help me sleep.”

Dean leaned so close that their lips were just brushing and their breath was mingling. “What if I said I didn’t want to sleep yet?” Dean whispered.

Castiel smiled and closed the gap between them.

~~@~~

**Author's Note:**

> Parts of the drag show are based on an actual drag show I saw when I was a fresh young Dimps full of vim and vigor and freshly anointed as a "faghag" by my new and plentiful gay friends. I hope I did them justice.
> 
> Talk to me, peaches. Tell me your dreams - am I in them? Tell me your fears - are you scared? Tell me to stop talking in Madonna lyrics - I'm sorry.
> 
> Follow my [author Tumblr](http://jamiedeanwrites.tumblr.com//post/118453611081/the-story-of-jax-and-dylan) for boys kissing, pansexual facts, book news and general shenanigans.  
> ♥♥♥


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